shocking news: i am a cornball

that should come as no surprise to, you know, anyone :) but i am sort of a wooden model, so my husband/photog i think is doing what he can to get me to loosen up a little. the particularly "loose" shots aren't for public consumption, hahah! but otherwise, it's the same two poses and the same tight smile. i'm trying, i'm trying...

wondering what other sellers do. or, indeed, what other OOTD-ers do to change up their blue steel looks. any suggestions on how to get more relaxed in front of the camera would be GREAT. although i know barely anyone reads this. helloooo, out there in the ether! help miss one-look take better pictures? please?

ah well. you know what else bothers me? this is one of my favorite books of all time:



yours too, likely? ok. so, in the book, you'll recall they describe Harriet's spy sweatshirt as BLUE. why why WHY is it RED on the bookcover??? frustrated about this since, oh, about...1979. yeah.

FREE SHIPPING IN THE SHOP ENDS ON 12/1/2011! hurry hurry and get your big deal--check the shop announcement for deets :)

oh! before i forget!

(image from adam burton - awesome, yeah?)

i'm having an end of November coupon deal!! FREE SHIPPING when you enter the code FALLINLOVE at checkout. no limits, no restrictions, just FREE SHIPPING until the end of November for everyone! pretty cool, yes? yes. it is. lots of new things to drool over--drop by and see!

stuffing

i wonder how many bloggers out there today are starting off their post-turkey-feasting entries talking about how damn full they are? i'm certain i'm not in the minority today!

the hubs and i, having chosen once again to keep thanksgiving at homebase, sans relatives and other social engagements (no offense, loved ones!) shuffled down to The Royal Restaurant in Alexandria for a buffet worthy of...well, bellies looking to be stuffed, at any rate. fresh carved turkey, ham, roast beef. homemade stuffing with currants, creamy redskin mashed potatoes, candied yams, green beans, corn, broccoli smothered in hollandaise. i tried, valiantly, to get two plates worth of the goodies, but buffets are really a loss on me. i can never do it. ever. just another fat-person myth debunked: i cannot eat a trough's-worth of food. :o shocking, i know!

at any rate, still delicious, and now we're back home, pleasantly digesting. preparing to do chores--yeah, that's right. i am not an expert at two things in this post so far: relaxing, and buffets. so, after a bit of reflection, it's laundry and whatever else hits my inner cleaning demon.

today's real purpose is to give thanks, yeah? i'm at a low point in my life, and i'm not great about reaching out to friends, or accepting love--even when i need it most. i'm so happy to have built a little network around me of people i can trust, who make me laugh until i bust gaskets, who accept me as i am--filthy of mouth, prone to flakiness, ebulliently childish, but emo at the drop of a hat. i love you, family and friends. you're what the season is about. thanks so much <3

coffee in the afternoon

did i ever tell you i'm a dogwalker? i probably did, but i'm so lousy about keeping this blog up-to-date that i've long forgotten what i might've mentioned. at any rate, i am. in this life, i've had a few jobs, but next-to-zero "careers"--until i moved to virginia and became a dogwalker. then i knew "this is it!" i've been a crazy animal-lover my whole life, easily brought to tears by various dogfood commercials, mewling kittens, thought of abused animals, etc etc. i've got a soft heart in nearly all matters, but with animals i'm a complete goner.



at one point, i thought maybe vet school was the answer for me. it was the first thing i could imagine being when i was little ("an aminal doctor!") up until i was in my 20s, even, when i actually got a job at a vet, with plans to go on to veterinary school to hopefully become a technician, the dream was still alive. but gradually i learned i don't have the stomach for it. or, rather, when an animal was brought in sick, or injured, or abused--needing surgery or eased into its next life--i dissolved into buckets of tears. not practical for a line of work in which the nature of your job is basically to keep a stiff upper lip.

so, i had a few jobs in between, searching searching--always searching--until the early 2000s when i thought "oh! dog walker!" of course. i could babysit animals and get to only experience the best of their days, not having to deal with the sadness of being a part of their lives. PERFECT.



of course, i soon enough realized that was not true, either. naturally, i become pretty attached to every dog i walk (this goes for kitties i sit for, too) and when they get sick, or injured, or the time comes for them to pass on, i am a WRECK. but, whereas in the vet world, such an overflowing heart is considered a downfall, in petsitting it's considered a plus. at least, so far, in my experience. the owners never question whether i care as much about their animals as they (hopefully) do. i am focused, attentive, loving--i go above and beyond to make sure they get the most out of my visits and keep their health and the forefront of my mind.it's a perfect fit for me.

i left my petsitting company at the end of last month, and i'm taking steps to begin walking and sitting on my own. it's an exciting time (despite some legal and psychological setbacks) and i'm really looking forward to enriching my life (and the life of "my" dogs and cats) as i realize my full career potential. yay? YAY.

anxiety and nail polish

(omg how fabulous are these nails!)

i run a bit high in terms of stress as a person since..um..birth. i'm pretty sure i get my constantly-anxious and/or depressed demeanor from my ma (RIP, lady) because i recall her struggling in many ways as i grew up. coping mechanisms included cigs, coffee, screaming, zoning out on tv and bailey's irish cream in the evenings. always over ice. she'd sit in the dark in the dining room, pensive over the tiny glass, and when i'd ask her what was wrong she'd just swirl the ice cubes and tell me the drink was something her doctor had prescribed. this same doctor told her to smoke cigarettes to "calm her nerves" which maybe gives you a bit of an idea about the timeframe we're talking about here.




anyway, i've tried my share of coping mechanisms over the years--legal and illegal, expected and unexpected--but rounding up to age 40 this birthday, i'd hoped for a more holistic approach to dealing. however, an unfortunate blow recently (i went to quietly resign from my job--was threatened with a law suit in response. long, LONG story.) threw me into the highest stress i'd experienced in years. or, if not the highest, then maybe my resistance is low anyway, being predisposed to stressy outbreaks anyway. so today at the doctor for a blood pressure check-up, she suggested i finally give monitored anxiety meds a try. i'm not sleeping and i'm eating like crap and general paralysis due to anxiety is enough that i finally gave in.

i don't think i'm revealing any big surprises when i say i've tried anxiety medications in the past, but usually not in the intended way :) while my experiences with xanax and klonopin have been fun and definitely relaxing, they haven't been used when i really needed them, so the feeling i was left with was always "hmm, ok, zzzz." i'd always (probably stupidly) considered (for ME only) turning to prescriptions to manage mental health as a kind of...uh...cop out. i stress FOR ME because i don't have these kinds of restricted judgments for others. so, but well...half a pill in today already i feel clear-headed, not foggy in the slightest and definitely a bit more able to face the day. i guess 40 is not too late to learn some new things about yourself right? right, i hope.

now seriously, on the lighter side, NAIL POLISH:



i've really been feeling glitter this season. i always like to have fun with polish but i've kept the fun almost-exclusively on the toe-end of my mani-pedis. but this year i don't know--maybe because i'm out of work and therefore can no longer spring for a spa manicure, so i'm left to sift through my gigantic nail polish bucket and use what i gots? whatever the reason, it's fun. i'm enjoying myself :) found a couple of glittery polishes at the bottom of that bucket, but they'd mostly gummed up--so i found some cheapie brands at CVS--a rainbow chunky glitter by milani, and this sweet pink glitter by wet and wild. i layer them over newtral sparkly colors like beige and black (really makes the glitter stand out, but i'll bet you could lacquer it over your nude nails for a more subtle effect.) and, yeah, it serves to make me feel just a little more sparkly in general, not just at my tips :) it's the little things, right? pills and polish, i'll give them both a shot.

ok, let's try this again...

well, this is a sad excuse for a blog, am i right? i'm going to give this the old college try this time--no slouching! back in biznass! all this gumption and not a drop of coffee to fuel it, folks! sigh, ok...

(i never know what to do with my hands when i'm showing off pockets!)

tons of new stuff up the shop, and tons more to come. i'm "taking a break" from my day job, which leaves lots of time in the day to accomplish things i've neglected (ie: everything)- the shop is one of those things! the blog is another...

good things: autumn leaves, pumpkin spice lattes, chill in the air, free time

bad things: the uncertain

but hey, good things are still winning out :) xo!

my stars

stasia is an amazing artist. she has a gorgeous etsy shop i can't stay away from. i've had these little stars on my wishlist for a while...not sure how much longer i can resist :) before i stumbled on her shop (i'm always on the lookout for stylish plugs in a smaller gauged size) i'd been wearing the same pair of stinky pyrex glass plugs for about 5 years. now i've got three pairs from her, one on the way, and a custom pair in the works. nuts! but her stuff is so beautiful--hand shaped, hand hammered silver, gemstones, dangles--every piece special. stasia, please stop--i've only got one pair of ears!!



i even wore a pair of her heart plugs on my wedding day... not that you could even see them for all my crazy hair. this pic was taken post-nuptials, post-sobbing-during-our-vows, post-ripped-my-adorable-vintage-flower-veil-off. biggest smile ever, right? beforehand i was crazy and nervous the entire week leading up to the wedding. i don't know if it's normal for all brides-to-be to have mad jitters, but i did! i kept thinking all the what-ifs--what if i hurt him, what if something terrible happens, what if what if what if. at the end of the day, he's perfect for me. the most loving, most nurturing man. funny, smart, adorable and true blue. i'm so lucky!! and, happy. he's the stars in my eyes.