i hate cathy. this is not a new rebellious admission in the world of internet hating by any means. i mean, truly i can't think of ANYONE who likes cathy comic strips. not only are they anti-feminist and size-ist, but they're just. not. funny.
i have never been a size 5. i knew i was chubby by the time i was about...i guess 8 is when the baby fat should've melted off, but instead i started popping buttons on my shirts and my already full face turned full moon as the years pressed on. at my skinniest, i was a 9/10, and i pretty much looked like a ghoul. bones poking out everywhere, ribs and clavicle and sunken cheeks where i usually store my nuts. only the boobs stayed, and it was a different kind of challenge trying to find things to fit around them in medium-sized clothing. impossible. 14 seemed to be the perfect weight, but then i fell in love with a man who loved me no matter what size, and the eating without guilt began--a difficult road, really. just ask cathy.
currently at a size 16/18, and having just turned 40, i have to admit i'm feeling a bit sluggish. but i'm clueless as how to lose weight in a healthy way. in the past, it's always a crash--eating disorders of all kinds, diet pills, street drugs, abusive boyfriends and parents' comments, etc. i only really know how to drop pounds by hating myself. but now, here, in a place where i love the way it feels to be this size, but not how it feels i.e.: high blood pressure, heavy breathing, hard to walk, sweating in 80 degree weather, diabetes in my family, etc. i dream of healthful eating and exercise, but something always trips me up. i can't figure it out. i literally look in the mirror every day and think "ah, cute. you are CUTE."
and all the activism. being fat and being seen in public, being the model in my etsy shop, being out there and proud and pretty--i feel a failure to even desire to lose weight. it's part of the struggle.
anyway, i'm just venting. if any of you sweet crickets who stick around for my sporadic ramblings have any advice, or any tales to share about how to lose weight in a healthy, easy, fat-positive (???) way, i would love to hear about it.
in the meantime, cathy--have some chocolate, wear that bikini, dump your shitty boyfriend and get a clue. please.
